Tasteful concepts for underage girls are no longer an impossible dream!
That's the major takeaway from I.O.I.'s comeback -- oh, and also that they have even a single modicum of talent or appeal. God, Dream Girls was such a crime against humanity.
But seriously, this video is a masterclass in melding cute and sexy to create something that acknowledges that yes, Somi is preternaturally beautiful, but also she is 15.
Just being a chill, regular teen
Now do not get me wrong, I am not criticizing pure sexy concepts. I am all about Stellar (except for their new song but you already knew that). I appreciate half-naked gyration as much as the next queer woman.
See, people in this video still look hot! Don't worry!
And this video also doesn't completely shy away from how attractive these girls are.
Okay, not ALL of them are attractive.
But the girl power/revenge through hotness concept is cute and innocent enough that it gels well with the ages of the group members, without dolling them up in school uniforms for some aegyo dogwhistle bullshit.
Overtly sexual choreography ahoy
Plus, the song is actually pretty good! Granted, the only thing I.O.I. had to do to make this decent was not fuck up too bad. They had a ready-made catchy hook courtesy of Salt N Pepa (among others). And they didn't knock it out of the park. Some of the production choices on this are ... mystifying ... and I would under no circumstances advise that you listen to their live vocals. But overall it's pretty catchy, and I like the tempo switch-ups a lot. Also, 7 members is just so much better than 11.
Waving goodbye to your memory of Dream Girls
Overall, I'm immensely relieved and impressed by the concept and the fact that they actually managed to produce a half-decent song after the unholy trainwreck that was their debut. Shame that they're disbanding in a few months and consigning half their members to permanent nugu-dom!
What is the use of a 9MUSES subunit that doesn't include Hyuna? One that includes Queen Kyungri, featured here with surprisingly flattering blonde hair.
This MV starts off with a troublingly oldschool-SNSD-style bubblegum beachpop intro. That made me very nervous, especially seeing that the girls were having a cutesy sleepover despite the fact that we all know Kyungri is so nasty. The mere thought of 9MUSES trying aegyo makes me nauseous.
What is this cutesy bullshit
Fortunately, all was soon redeemed by some bass and a lip-shaped couch for the girls to sexily sprawl on. Why do music videos mess with me like this? I've never felt more betrayed than when the beat in AOA's Good Luck switched.
That's more like it
The plot of this video is that Hyemi and Kyungri are on the verge of sexytimes with an ab-laden gentleman. But then, PLOT TWIST, it is revealed that they are dating the same guy! As if any man wouldn't be satisfied with Kyungri.
I am literally incapable of reviewing MVs with no lesbian content
I have to say that the biggest surprise about this video is how great Sojin looks and sounds. Her whispery rap verse added some of the sexiness the song was missing, and I love her with short hair. She looks way sexier and more mature with this haircut, and though it didn't match the faux-innocent concept at all, she still looked bangin (also kinda like Hyuna formerly-of-4Minute? Maybe it's just me). Obviously she is not on the level of rap queen Euaerin, may she rest in peace, but who is? At least she's trying.
Undisputed MVPs
Lip 2 Lip has all the danceable bass/percussion and solid vocals (plus extreme hotness) of any other 9MUSES title track. I found the bridge particularly outstanding, though the ending of the track leaves a lot to be desired. Why the bare instrumentals? Why the random final verse segment? Who knows.
Me after hearing the final 15 seconds of the song
Nothing will ever come close to the Holy 9MUSES Triumvirate of Wild, Gun and Glue. But I can't keep grading new 9MUSES releases on a scale that includes Sera and Euaerin when the group no longer does. Overall, this sounds like a 9MUSES song, and that's a good thing. Let's all be grateful for what Star Empire has given us. 4/5.
Today's special crossover episode is brought to you by the fact that Navillera, G-Friend's latest thinly veiled clone of all their previous songs (this time: more synths), is gay as all hell.
I discovered while writing this review that it is fucking impossible for me to tell these girls apart. It's almost as bad as Red Velvet at this point (I can't tell those bitches apart even though I know one of them from high school!).
Anyway, I've now determined that there's one who looks like Jessica Jung (SinB), one who looks like a pig (Umji), one with braids (Yuju???), one who's kinda hot (Sowon) and TWO FREAKING LESBIANS.
This is some gay shit right here
Apparently their names are Eunha (the one with the short hair) and Yerin (...the other one). They are the stars of this video, the premise of which is that the six girls are hanging around doin' friendship stuff (rollerblading, abusing stuffed toys) while two of them fall slowly yet deeply in love.
Subtle
This is all set to the tune of a song that sounds exactly like every previous G-Friend release, except that it has more synths which is making everyone say that it's Jpop influenced even though let's be real this is a perfect clone of their schoolgirl trilogy songs right down to the weirdly intense guitar solo at the bridge.
Eunha, you creep
I mean, I'm not really complaining: this group does one thing and one thing only, but they do it really damn well. The choreography is inventive and expertly executed as usual -- I'm really looking forward to the dance version of this because I remember being really impressed by their previous ones. The guitar solo is fun, if a little strange (who is playing these? If one of these girls is secretly a hard rocker I'm gonna be into it). The "na-na-na-navillera" chant in the pre-chorus is catchy as hell. It's a fun, up-tempo jam that is sure to get a lot of play this summer. The one downside is that their composer keeps pulling out all the same musical and harmonic tricks. There were multiple points in the song where the synth riffs matched up with material from Glass Bead, or where I expected the chorus from Rough to come in. That doesn't make it a bad song -- it just makes it a little bit too familiar.
Ah yes, my old familiar (girl)friend
We're ranking on three metrics today:
Song/Video Overall: I'm gonna give it a 4/5, because I have to admit it's a jam, and the video is nicely shot, styled and edited. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't prefer something totally different from the G-Friend ladies. They have the talent to pull off something totally left-field. Oh My Girl is doing weird shit all the time, and I'd love to see these girls do the same.
Lesbian Convincingness: 3.5/4. Sure, I'll buy it. There's enough meaningful glances to convince me. Plus that heart-drawing incident is really fucking gay.
Lesbian Hotness: 1.5/4. This is chaste as hell. The only points this gets comes from me imagining these two fucking (don't worry, they're both 19, even though they're styled like they're 12).
The Wonder Girls are back, and they are making disco look damn good.
Before I get down to the nitty gritty, here are the basics: the girls all look hot as fuck in this video, AND they've stuck with the band concept. You know what that means ... keyboard-related Yenny boob bouncing.
Who knew playing the piano had such fun breast-related results!
On a serious musical note, the song is great: not as heavy-handed of a throwback as their 80s-inspired jam I Feel You, but with enough psychedelic flavour to match the dusky neon palette of the video. It has perfectly nonchalant guitar riffs, some truly fantastic synth/vocal doubling in the chorus, and one of the most tonally-appropriate and best-integrated raps I've heard. In fact, much of the song's musical merit rests on Yubin, who nails the rap and (if she's actually playing them) uses a masterful hand with the drums. Plus she looks so cool!
John? John Lennon?
Actually, everyone in this video looks simultaneously unbelievably hot and unbelievably cool. Yenny kept the pink hair, and she's really making it work.
I kinda want Yenny to do this to me
It also gives her an edge that matches the bad-girl plot of the MV, which features the girls smoking, drinking, sitting on refrigerators...
Hyelim in this MV is my spirit animal
...and eventually beating the living hell out of a mannequin (who I assume represents their noncommittal lover).
Hyelim will fuck a bitch UP
The styling is fantastic, with some really cool 70s-inspired makeup looks, lots of crop tops and some truly horrifying bellbottoms that Yubin in her endless mercy manages to pull off.
2 cool 4 u
There's lots of lounging around on/near cars and in/around a very psychedelically-decorated house. The best visual trick of this music video is that everything is cast in a hazy golden light, making the sets look like straight out of a previous generation.
I barely mentioned her, but Sunmi is so hot it goes without saying
Overall, it's a sexy, laid-back video to match a sexy, laid-back song. Nothing is done to excess, and even though the combination of 70s-concept and a video with both an aesthetic and a plot might have overshadowed a lesser group, the Wonder Girls have the delivery, talent and looks to pull pretty much anything off. It might not be able to compete with flashier releases, but I'll be coming back to both this song and its accompanying music video a lot this summer. 5/5
Quick to shake off the "Pretty U" criticism, Seventeen comeback with "Very Nice" and it's just that.
I'll be honest, I was a be skeptical during Seventeen's debut just mostly because they come from Pledis and we all know how south that can go. However "Adore U" was a nice contrast to the popular hip-hop concepts most boy groups had been doing, and then "Mansae" was just pure awesomeness and one of my favorite songs of 2015.
Then "Pretty U" came out. Which would have been fine for album filler as it wasn't God-awful but it was such a step down from their previous two efforts it felt almost as if Pledis was just dying to release that as a title. It stead did well with fans and all so at least it meant that Seventeen wouldn't completely flop and disband in a year or two.
However "Very Nice" is the kick that Seventeen needed. It picks up where their first two releases left off without coming off redundant or overdone. It's the sound that we're pretty much used to from them, as well as quality wise. It follows the upbeat funk + glossy pop sound however refrains from becoming watered-down nonsense by switching up the pace. And then there is of course that chorus with those awesome horns and bass. The song starts off on a high note and ends on one.
The music video, I can't even explain it really. This is something you're going to have to view for yourself. It is very interesting though. In the beginning I thought this was just going to be another "Dozen Guys Chase One Girl" plot, but apparently it was more like "Girl Goes on Murder Spree." Also the choreography has a lot of crotch thrusting. In terms of the members themselves this is by far the hottest Seventeen has looked in terms of music videos. They're all styled awesomely. The only thing that bugs me is the fact that Hoshi gets five seconds of screen time. However there is quite a nice bit of S.Coups who shits all over everyone here.
Suspenders were a very nice (no pun intended) touch and I honestly think K-pop needs more of them.
This reminds me of a certain iconic look involving red suspenders if you catch my drift.
Overall "Very Nice" was an entertaining release. I can see myself listening to this song a lot in the following months which qualifies as a good comeback if I must say so myself.
Sonamoo return after a year with lukewarm results.
Disclaimer: It's past midnight where I live currently and I just got back from a 10+hour drive and I have to work in the morning. I really wanted to finish this article so I'm doing a relatively quick-ish review. So apologies beforehand if this comes out shittier than usual. I was happy when Sonamoo debuted with "Deja Vu" because I liked their song and concept. "Cushion" was also a pretty awesome song however TS has decided to shit all over those two by following up a year later with one of the weakest songs they could have gone with. First off: the concept is not the reason I find this insufferable. Sure I dig Sonamoo's more tomboyish image however let's be honest, people are hypocrites and although they love to pretend that they support "badass" girl groups they don't. I'm one of the people that actually stanned and bought Sonamoo's debut stuff however numbers speak louder than words in the world of K-pop and I was in the minority. I like cute concepts and I like cutesy girl groups (Lovelyz, G-Friend, A Pink, ect...) so the fact that they pulled a 180 with the concept isn't that surprising since cute is in right now. Also it's TS who are known for pulling 180s with their groups concepts before they even get established which is one of the reasons why BAP and SECRET don't have nearly as much popularity as they should (BAP is mid-tier and most people only really know SECRET for Hyosung and occasionally Sunghwa.) The problem with "I Like U Too Much" is that it kind of sucks. It sounds like a watered down A Pink song. It has the potential to be good however it lack severe flavor. It's almost like they tried to pull a "NoNoNo" but forgot that what made "NoNoNo" a success was the fact that it was a good song. This is...upbeat and that's pretty much all there is to it. In retrospect, "I Like U Too Much" can basically be compared to a box of Kix cereal:
No flavor indeed.
If you find Sonamoo attractive then you'll like the video. It's basically AOA meets A Pink. It's not nearly as awesome as that would sound but it's enough to bring in a few more fanboys and fangirls. It leaves no room for imagination as most of the vid is in first person perspective. It follows pretty much the similar cosplay formula that you see in most girl group videos these days.
If you're into vocals, then you might like this song since some of the members singing is showcased quite a bit.
Final verdict: TS could have done better. Way better. But hey, so far it's been their best received song domestically, so I guess that counts for something you want Sonamoo to be around longer. I still think they should have made "Closer" longer and made it the comeback song by 100%. "I Like U Too Much" would have been regular album filler for most groups.
Seriously, what in the fuck were TS thinking when they didn't make this the comeback song?
Like clockwork, SISTAR is back with another summer comeback/opportunity for them all to vigorously shake their asses at a camera. Fortunately, even a broken clock (see: the extremely unlistenable Shake It, the fairly unlistenable but mercifully body-roll-heavy My Boy) is right twice a day. And I Like That is one of those times.
Who could have predicted this choreo?!?!
A departure from the super happy summer fare they’ve been cranking out for the past couple of years, I Like That is a return to the dark, dramatic textures they used to such excellent effect in Alone. Despite the change from major to minor, though, the production here is extremely standard SISTAR fare: you’ve got some mildly interesting horns, a heck of a lot of percussion, and Hyorin belting constantly. The thing about SISTAR is that they crank the production up as loud and as heavy as Hyorin can handle (which is very, very loud and very, very heavy) but that sometimes ends up drowning out the weaker voices in the group. As per usual, Soyou is decent, Dasom is a non-event and Bora is bad at rapping but good at being pretty. But despite the mixed bag of vocalists and the subpar rapping, I Like That is eminently listenable thanks to the solid hook and nifty rhythmic trick at the end of the chorus. The horn line is employed with enough tact that it manages to avoid annoying the crap out of listeners, and the production backs off enough to really let Hyorin shine (which is the only reason anyone listens to SISTAR songs anyway).
You can close those curtains, Dasom, nobody wants to see you
As for the video, it’s a pretty standard dance-in-the-box sexy concept. There’s a gesture in the direction of a storyline featuring Dasom, the least interesting person in the group and possibly the world, but otherwise it’s just a tableau of SISTAR-standard ass-shaking, bed-splaying, longing gazes into the camera, etc. They play with some fabric, Bora looks surprisingly sexy with short hair (which she cuts in the middle of the video for … reasons) and blue contacts, Soyou rolls around on some rose petals for like thirty milliseconds and then basically never appears again, the girls wear some extremely regrettable nude illusion bodysuits, Hyorin has boobs and we are thankful for it, Dasom does not have boobs but pretends really hard like she does and we are still pretty thankful for it. Everybody has tattoos, if you’re into that.
The only thing Soyou does in this video is lie down. I feel you, girl
This sure as hell isn’t SISTAR’s best work, but it also isn’t their worst. I could do without Bora rapping and the entire bridge section of the song, but everyone looks at least somewhat hot in the video (Bora, you’re the real MVP), the percussion and horn lines are standard kpop fare but a good time nonetheless, and Hyorin can still belt it. 3.5/5, would listen again.
