Girl Group Wars Round 1: Twice vs. Pledis Girlz, April vs. Sonamoo

Ready to dominate.

Welcome to the first round of AKF's Girl Group Wars! The intro post can be found here, and remember you can always follow along with the bracket here. Voting opens now and closes in a week. Let's get cracking!

Twice vs. Pledis Girlz

I have never felt more pity for a group than I do for Pledis Girlz at this moment.

Twice

These JYP juggernauts are coming into this competition as first seed, and that's no coincidence. What they lack in vocal talent, they make up for in visual appeal and general cutesiness. Their latest comeback, Cheer Up, was the undisputed song of the summer and keeps making a re-appearance on the charts, and their debut, Like Ooh-Aah, had an original concept, and you don't see that shit every day. Also, I find 6 (the blessed J-line, Tzuyu, Nayeon and Jihyo) out of their 9 members actively interesting and/or attractive. Not too damn shabby.

Both of their title tracks are enjoyable and catchy as all hell, and most of the rest of their music is at least bearable, with the exception of Do It Again. God, I fucking hate that song.

Honestly, I don't need to write a lot here to justify this group's dominance. They do that themselves, as evidenced by this blog's extensive coverage of their fancams. If it weren't for their complete lack of vocal talent (which, I know, doesn't really matter in pop music, but I'm trying to have some integrity here), I would give them a perfect 100. As it stands, they're starting this round off strong with 60 points for 6 hot members + 20 points for each of their two good title tracks - 15 because none of them can sing for shit = 85/100.

Pledis Girlz

Last seed, as they technically haven't even debuted yet, PLEDIS Girlz is severely disadvantaged by their terrible name and the fact that they chose some APink-style bullshit for their pre-debut song. Also, there are 8 members in this group, and that's not even including the 2 future members who are currently all tied up with I.O.I. activities. You know what? Ten members is too fucking many.

On the plus side, though, some of these girls are kind of hot, and there is a lot of lesbo-tinged hand-holding in this video. Also, apparently the Girlz wrote this song themselves about their struggles being trainees for twenty billion years (approx). That's cute! I can respect that! Also, someone commented "Wow seriously RIP Twice..." on YouTube, so obviously PLEDIS has this one in the bag.



Look, there are so many members that they have to have some of them sit on random chairs. And there's going to be even more of them! Jesus. Can't believe Pinky is doomed to this fate.

Nonetheless, there are some good things about this group. 30 points for (allegedly) writing their own song + 40 points for the fact that some of them are hot - 10 points for too many fucking members - 10 points for the name + 10 points because I feel bad for them = 60/100.

Alright, time to vote:

Which group do you prefer?

Twice

Pledis Girlz

Family Quotes

April vs. Sonamoo

I don't think it ought to be, but I predict this one will be close.

April

You know I like our 8th seed, April if I can forgive them for jacking DSP's attention and contributing to Kara and Rainbow's untimely death. Why have these ladies earned both my forgiveness and an 8th seed position? Because Tinkerbell is one of the only cute concept songs that I actively enjoy. Damn, I love this crap! I don't even feel the need to justify myself here. This song is a bop.



I am always loath to pass judgment on cute concepts because I recognize my strong anti-cutesy bias. But, this video is ...weird. Them all fawning over this Skeletor-looking white boy is inexplicable, and him pushing the one girl up against a wall is Not A Good Look. Their other song, Dream Candy, is fine though! Good for you, April.

Also, I am not going to comment on anyone's attractiveness because many of them are underage and I'm not about that life. Suffice it to say that I think Naeun has Seolhyun-level breakout potential, and Jinsol has a smile as cute as Sejeong's. In addition, I approve of the fact that they limited themselves to a very sane five (formerly six) members. Take note, Cosmic Girls. Another strong point in April's favour is their incredible mascot, Sawori, who has been extensively and hilariously covered by AsianJunkie.

In summary: 40 points because Tinkerbell is my jam + 10 points each for Naeun and Jinsol + 30 points for Sawori - 5 points for Muah!'s weird video - 5 points because Dream Candy is meh = 80/100.

Sonamoo

Ninth-seeded Sonamoo have tried just about every concept in their quest for success. Their latest, a dogwhistle-heavy attempt at a cute concept, got a lot of flack for being boring and unoriginal (including on this blog). HOWEVER, it has been stuck in my head for a week, so you have to give credit where credit is due.

Plus, Nahyun and Euijin are hot, and let's not pretend that isn't a major factor. But what of their other songs?

Oh, no. Okay, this is a half-decent song. But the English is sooooooo bad. "Feel so what, touch that guy, feel so tight, day and night?" Dear heavens. "He's like cushion"? Get me out of here. In fairness though, everything else about this song is great! As for Deja Vu, all the YouTube comments are boy-band fangirls talking about how this is the only girl group song they like. That's about all you need to know.

So how does that add up? 25 points for I Like U Too Much + 25 points for Cushion - 10 points for Cushion's lyrics + 10 points each for Nahyun and Euijin - 10 points for Deja Vu = 50/100.

Alright, time to vote: 

Which group do you prefer?

April

Sonamoo

Sage Quotes

And that's a wrap! Tune in next week for Red Velvet vs. Cosmic Girls/WSJN and BLACKPINK vs. Gugudan, and to see Round 1's results!

[MV Review] Sonamoo - "I Like U Too Much"

Sonamoo return after a year with lukewarm results.


Disclaimer: It's past midnight where I live currently and I just got back from a 10+hour drive and I have to work in the morning. I really wanted to finish this article so I'm doing a relatively quick-ish review. So apologies beforehand if this comes out shittier than usual.

I was happy when Sonamoo debuted with "Deja Vu" because I liked their song and concept. "Cushion" was also a pretty awesome song however TS has decided to shit all over those two by following up a year later with one of the weakest songs they could have gone with.

First off: the concept is not the reason I find this insufferable. Sure I dig Sonamoo's more tomboyish image however let's be honest, people are hypocrites and although they love to pretend that they support "badass" girl groups they don't. I'm one of the people that actually stanned and bought Sonamoo's debut stuff however numbers speak louder than words in the world of K-pop and I was in the minority.

I like cute concepts and I like cutesy girl groups (Lovelyz, G-Friend, A Pink, ect...) so the fact that they pulled a 180 with the concept isn't that surprising since cute is in right now. Also it's TS who are known for pulling 180s with their groups concepts before they even get established which is one of the reasons why BAP and SECRET don't have nearly as much popularity as they should (BAP is mid-tier and most people only really know SECRET for Hyosung and occasionally Sunghwa.)

The problem with "I Like U Too Much" is that it kind of sucks. It sounds like a watered down A Pink song. It has the potential to be good however it lack severe flavor. It's almost like they tried to pull a "NoNoNo" but forgot that what made "NoNoNo" a success was the fact that it was a good song. This is...upbeat and that's pretty much all there is to it. 

In retrospect, "I Like U Too Much" can basically be compared to a box of Kix cereal:

No flavor indeed.

If you find Sonamoo attractive then you'll like the video. It's basically AOA meets A Pink. It's not nearly as awesome as that would sound but it's enough to bring in a few more fanboys and fangirls. It leaves no room for imagination as most of the vid is in first person perspective. It follows pretty much the similar cosplay formula that you see in most girl group videos these days. 

If you're into vocals, then you might like this song since some of the members singing is showcased quite a bit.

Final verdict: TS could have done better. Way better. But hey, so far it's been their best received song domestically, so I guess that counts for something you want Sonamoo to be around longer. I still think they should have made "Closer" longer and made it the comeback song by 100%. "I Like U Too Much" would have been regular album filler for most groups.

Seriously, what in the fuck were TS thinking when they didn't make this the comeback song?

TS Keep Fucking With Sonamoo

So the highlight medley for Sonamoo's new album came out, and I was all set to love this comeback until I realized that "Closer" wasn't going to be to be the title track but instead "I Like U Too Much."

Sigh.

I love that TS is willing to experiment with their artist however they always do this. They always start them off one way and then veer off in a completely new direction. Like how Secret started off with "Magic", "Madonna" ect... and building themselves up with a certain image before going cutesy with "Shy Boy". Similarly, BAP had a strong image going with "Warrior", "Power" and "No Mercy" before "Stop It" came out.

However, the reason why it worked was because those songs lived up to their contrasting counterparts. Songs like "Shy Boy" and "Feel So Good" are just as good as a song like "I'm In Love" and "One Shot." Sure "I Like U Too Much" sounds fine, however it's not nearly as title track worthy as "Closer."

Also TS Entertainment hyped Sonamoo to be BAP's sister group. BAP's signature is stuff like "Warrior" and all that they've had to show for a concept like that was "Deja Vu." 

TS debuted Sonamoo at the worst time with their BAP law suite. They follow up with "Cushion" during the girl group summer craze, and while that song was great the lyrics winded up turning a lot of people off. And now they coming out with "I Like U Too Much" which will probably keep Sonamoo in nuguland forever. OR it will wind up surprisingly be a hit and they'll get their first all kill. I doubt that since Twice is all the rage these days and even fan-favorites like SISTAR are getting shit for being SISTAR.

All in all, I just hope I'm wrong and that "I Like U Too Much" will wind up sounding a whole lot better than it is currently sounding. Until then, I'll just enjoy High.D.