KPOP Updates News Music Info MV: RAINBOW

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Wednesday, July 13, 2016

An Extremely Thorough Exploration of Lesbianism in Kpop – Part 2/?

Part 1 can be found here.

Once again, in the interests of comparison and standard-setting, each video’s lesbianism will be ranked on two metrics: how hot it is, and how convincing it is. They will be graded out of four (four scissors, obviously). Now let's get to the good stuff:

Rainbow Blaxx - Cha Cha

God damn, Rainbow is so underrated. Everybody shit on the perfectly good Black Swan for no reason, and then nobody paid any attention to Whoo even though the music video featured Jaekyung straight up not wearing pants. Honestly, we are given so many good things in this life and we so often fail to appreciate them.

How can you not respect this kind of commitment?

Anyway, a couple years ago, Rainbow decided to make a play for relevancy by creating a sexy-concept subunit, Rainbow Blaxx. Though it was sadly short-lived, it did manage to produce the incredibly hot and faintly gay Cha Cha.

Mmm, platonic mutual finger-licking

This video's premise is incomprehensible to me (they're in a dessert-themed lesbian brothel? They spit diamonds? All the backup dancers are dressed as french maids?), but it serves as a tribute to the world's most popular fetishes with a heavy dose of girl-on-girl action.

Subtle french maid foot fetish action at the bottom there

Rainbow picked subunit members extremely well. Jaekyung is one of those people who both has an incredible body and knows how to eye-fuck a camera, Seungah is both a surprisingly good singer and a knockout, Woori brings the rapping variety and also joins Jaekyung in the department of ridiculous legs and god bless Hyunyoung, who is off-the-charts charismatic and has the body to match.

Hyunyoung's boobs are like the eighth wonder of the world.

The video is light on plot and heavy on sexy dessert-eating. Woori and Seungah hang out on a couch together in a very very very sexually charged fashion.

You got your lesbianism, you got your voyeurism...

There's some binoculars-framing and a weird lady shows up to measure everyone's body parts (which seems really unfair. If you put people in a fancy dessert palace and insist they seductively eat stuff, they're gonna gain some weight), which suggests some kind of voyeuristic brothel situation.

I think this lady runs the lesbian fetish brothel but it's hard to be sure

Honestly who gives a fuck though! The song is a jam, and the girls of Rainbow Blaxx are so sexy that they could be standing around perfectly still in full-length parkas and it would still be hot. The fact that this video features a who's who of fetishes, mild lesbianism and plenty of lingerie is just the best bonus in the world.

Hotness: 4 scissors. You just can't argue with shit like this; there is truly something for everyone here, and it's all gold.

Convincingness: 3 scissors. This is actually relatively short on lesbianism, but Woori, Seungah, Jaekyung and Hyunyoung sell the shit out of everything they do, including sexy gay finger-licking and french-maid toenail painting. People got laid on this set, for sure.

Anda - Touch

I don't want to spoil anything, but this video is lesbian as fuck. They straight up insinuate oral in this video. I'm not kidding you. Here it is:

Just spreading a girl's legs and then clutching this pillow while a girl slides down my chest for no reason!!!!!!!!

This shit writes itself, I'm telling you.

Naked in a bathtub with another woman -- so heterosexual!

But anyway, before you click play on this video I have to warn you that the song is extremely irritating. I would recommend putting it on mute. Maybe listen to Fiona Apple's Criminal instead (because that's where this video got all of its aesthetic inspiration from. They basically just took Criminal and made it about lesbians instead of like, youthful malaise or whatever).

Off to an excellent start

So our girl is at some kind of all-girl sleepover, which is a great setting for lesbian action. And indeed, lesbian action ensues. There are multiple shots where Anda is doing something vaguely sexy in the foreground while girls actually make out in the background.

See? I would never lie to you

Anda herself also engages in some Sapphic funtimes. She hangs out in a bathtub while being straddled by a woman. She lies on a bed while being straddled by a woman. We get some of the aforementioned leg-spreading and oral-simulating. It's amazing. I cannot recommend this highly enough, if you are at all interested in hot girls doing sexy things to each other.

This really doesn't need any elaboration

Hotness: 3.5 scissors. I'd give it a perfect 4 if I liked Anda's face a little better and I hadn't previously been spoiled by Jaekyung et al. She has a great body, though (as do all the other lesbians at this party).

Convincingness: 4 scissors. Uh, yeah. Not really much more to say about that.