You know how the Oscars come around and all kinds of pop culture gossip websites live blog the results for those chumps who aren't watching? (And yes, I'm one of those chumps who prefers to read the live blogs rather than watch the actual awards show). In my imagination, this is how a live blog of our k-drama music awards ceremony would go:
6:15-- The red carpet is awash with Korean celebrities supporting the music of their favorite dramas. There was a rumor that Lee Min Ho might arrive to support the nominees from Faith and Boys over Flowers, but thus far, he's a no-show. The fashion is ranging from adorable to downright crazy, though we're glad to see that Taecyeon left his accordion headband at home. Good move, buddy!
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| The Dream High cast walking the red carpet. Bow tie = 10,000,000 times better than accordion headband. Image source |
6:45--Right at the end of the red carpet, Kim Jeong-hoon shows up with Mae Whitman as his surprise date. A befuddled reporter confuses Whitman for her man and speaks to her in Korean. AWK-WARD!
7:30--With the stars all in their seats, it's time for the announcement of the first award of the evening. We begin with the minor category of "Best Cover of 'Tell Me Your Wish.'"
And the winner is . . .
DREAM HIGH in a landslide!
With nominations in several other categories, the Dream High cast was the heavy favorite here. In tribute to the You Are Beautiful Cast, Taecyeon, Wooyoung, and Kim Soo-hyun don wigs during the acceptance speech. Everyone laughs heartily.
7:50--With the special awards out of the way, it's time for the serious business to begin. First up is "Best Second Male Lead Theme." Kim Jeong-hoon and Kim Hyun-joong are both sporting white suits in honor of their nominated characters. Fortunately, they decided against swoopy tan hair today. Prior to the award's announcement, Jaejoong performs his theme from Protect the Boss. No Min-woo juggles knives and pets adorable puppies in the background, making us wonder why the rest of these lame, mopey characters are even nominated.
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| Seriously, though. The man has a magical dagger. Most awesome second male lead ever. |
And the winner is . . .
KIM HYUN-JOON and "STRANGER SUN"!
The audience mostly applauds, but some stoically glare at the stage. This is the anticipated protest over the controversial choice to nominate "Stranger Sun" over "Because I'm Stupid" in this category.
8:15--In a shocking announcement, there is an unprecedented TIE in the category of "Best Ballad"! Since "Carry On" from Faith and "Someday" from Dream High received an equal number of votes, the winner of the award is determined by a clap-o-meter a-la Saved By the Bell. IU has a solid response, but when the Faith theme song comes on, Lee Min Ho appears on stage unexpectedly, and the theater erupts! Sorry, IU. Maybe someone will give you a consolation kitten.
8:34--The announcers begin to announce a second tie in the category of "Worst Song to Get Stuck in your Head." Upon beginning to play the two winning songs ("Lovin' Ice Cream" and "Never Say Goodbye") for the clap-o-meter, the audience quickly becomes unruly. There is a stampede for the door! Children are curled in the fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably! People are hurling anything and everything at the stage in the effort to just.make.it.stop! This may just signal the end of the awards ceremony...
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| This is the exact face I make when I hear these songs. |
9:01--Pandemonium ensues until Kim Hyun-joong spontaneously hops onto the stage and pretends to pensively play the violin in his white suit. At the unexpected Ji-hoo re-enactment, 80% of the females in the crowd immediately faint, thereby putting an end to the chaos. Once they recover, the show is able to continue.
9:10--Time for the final announcement of the night, and the song we've all been waiting for: "Best Upbeat Song." You can hear a pin drop as everyone holds their breath in anticipation.
And the winner of the k-drama music award for "Best Upbeat Song" is . . .
"DREAM HIGH" from Dream High!
Well, this settles it! Dream High is basically the k-pop version of Lord of the Rings in its ability to sweep (or tie) all categories for which it was nominated. Wait, what's this? Random members of the audience are standing in the aisles and doing this dance? At first the other attendees appear confused, but it's only a matter of time before they all join in! That's right, folks! Lee Min Ho, IU, and Yoon Eun-hye are all dancing side by side in what has become the best flash mob in all of history!
Why yes, I was able to find a video of Lee Min Ho dancing.
The internet is a magical place.
(Cut to commercial. And then exit my imagination back into sad reality.)
Do you agree with the winners?
