Kdrama Spinoffs!

Sometimes while I watch Kdramas, I catch myself imagining spinoff television shows based on the characters. Does anyone else do this? Just me? Well, some of my imaginary spinoffs are more desirable than others, but here are a few (mostly joking) spinoffs that have crossed my mind of late:

1. Koreans in Sombreros: The Yeo Jin Story

Lost love! Lost limbs! Frantic wedding day car chases!

C'mon. A Cunning Single Lady/Sly and Single Again prequel featuring Yeo Jin's ill-fated first love would be like a telenovela having babies with a soapy, melo Kdrama. In other words, incredibly trashy, but totally addicting. Can we add in a birth secret for good measure? Sure! Why not dream big?

2. Mastah Chep

I envision this as a cooking reality show where Lee Chun Hee and Gong Hyo Jin each head up teams of competing chefs. The two actors would, of course, take on their previous roles from Dating Agency: Cyrano and Pasta, respectively.

3. Noodles for Young Do

My brother-in-law happened to see bits and pieces of Heirs, and he later asked me, "Why is that Young Do kid so obsessed with noodles? Is that code for going steady?"

Well, in this spinoff, Young Do would throw off the shackles of being a hotel heir and open his own noodle restaurant by the sea. In the process, he would discover inner peace, and, of course, love. A Korean noodle company could fund the project in exchange for delicious product placement. Kim Woo Bin ain't cheap, you know.

4. Barassi's Playhouse!

Why does this dog not have his own children's show? WHY? It's been a while since I learned how to count to ten, but I bet his furry face would have been great motivation.

Oh, and P.S., in this spinoff, Barassi can fly.

5. The Adventures of Geol Oh and Yeorim

This actually isn't a joke. This is a serious ongoing fantasy. Hurry up and get into the army, Yoo Ah In! The sooner you go, the sooner you and Song Joong Ki can be reunited in magnificent glory. 

Who do I have to pay to make this happen? Oh, wait, I'm too poor for that. Which chaebols are available for Coco to marry so that she can bankroll this project? Because I'm usually opposed to selling out my friends, but I might make an exception to see this wonder on the screen.

Exploring Second Lead Syndrome

After watching both Emergency Couple and Sly and Single Again this week, I've been thinking about Second Lead Syndrome again. Both shows feature a woman caught between two men, and in both cases, the female lead is clearly destined to go back to her ex-husband from episode 1. Neither ex-husband is exactly a shining paragon of awesome boyfriend-osity, but hey,  he's rich and he's on the promotional poster, so it has to be true love, right?

It's no secret that Emergency Couple is giving me what might be my worst case of Second Lead Syndrome yet (We're talking Young Do levels here, folks. Things are bad.). In the case of Sly and Single, I feel sad for the second lead, but he doesn't have me clutching my heart and sighing at the TV or anything, either. The comparison of two very similar shows has got me wondering what it is that sparks Second Lead Syndrome (SLS) and why it is that I catch it for some dramas and I just don't care for others. There seem to be a few different factors at play in my self-diagnosis of this ailment:

Go ahead. Just stab my heart with little daggers, why don't you?

What could have been...

Second leads are notoriously bad at spitting out their feelings. While the first leads are dragging women around by the arm and forcing kisses onto them, second leads are always stuck forming painstakingly cautious love declarations, only to be interrupted at the last minute by a phone or something equally infuriating. (Seriously. Stop answering the freaking phone.) 

If viewers are already favoring the second lead, an interrupted love declaration is basically the worst thing a writer can do. It ensures that we will spend the rest of the show wondering what could have been if only the man spoke at a pace slightly faster than one word every thirty seconds. How can we feel satisfied that the female lead made the right choice if she didn't even know she had another option until it was too late?

Oh, Geol Oh, if only you had overcome your girl-instigated hiccups...

On the other hand, there is such a thing as waiting too long, and second leads who beat around the bush for a million years tend to lose my sympathy at some point. Take You're Beautiful's Shin Woo, for example. Yeah, she got interrupted by a phone call on their pseudo-date, but he could have said something a little earlier instead of just staring at her and talking in thinly veiled "stories." 

Then again, if she was too stupid to figure out that the story describing her exact situation was really about her, maybe Shin Woo dodged a bullet on that one. 

It takes two to tango

Mutual interest is the next big factor in second lead syndrome. Sometimes, I want to give male leads a copy of the book He's Just Not That Into You and send them on their way. I'm thrilled when they confess their feelings, but if it's obvious from the start that there's no interest from the female lead, it makes it a teensy bit easier to let the relationship die in my mind. 

If the show develops the possibility of a relationship with the second male lead, though, all bets are off. I think that's what got so many Boys over Flowers fans. She was completely interested in Ji Hoo one minute, and then suddenly she's dating Jun Pyo. Why? Because he shouted about his feelings more adamantly? His family had slightly more money? It's a mystery. Add in a fortune teller announcing that Ji Hoo is her soul mate, but Jun Pyo is her husband, and you've got a herd of angry fans on your hands.

Lesson of the day: Don't trust random island fortune tellers.

Emergency Couple is another example. Jin Hee and Chief Gook had fantastic chemistry for most of the show, which made it that much harder to figure out why the writers wouldn't just cave to their obvious connection and kill Chang Min in a freak bench pressing accident or something. (I'm joking! Sort of.)

Variety is the spice of K-dramas

This one's a biggie. It wasn't until I watched the recycled mishmash that was Nail Shop Paris that I realized just how predictable male characters are in Dramaland (or at least the romcom segment of Dramaland). I know that we've talked a lot about female leads on this blog, but if we want complex, interesting women in our dramas, don't they also deserve complex, interesting men to date?

As it currently stands, many romantic dramas have two tropes: the chaebol lead and the supportive second lead. The male lead has two personality traits: haughty and rich. (Rich isn't even a personality trait, but that's the best we've got, so we'll take it.) As time goes on, he becomes less haughty, and he falls in love. But that's it. Beyond haughty, rich, in love, and maybe sad about daddy issues, you don't have much to work with, personality-wise. 

Then you have the second male lead, who is (slightly less) rich, kind, and supportive. His main characteristic is his willingness to follow the woman around and serve her with his invisible love. 

Now, I love a good old fashioned chaebol love story, but every once in a while, I wish Kdrama male characters had just a little more personality. Haughty vs. nice makes it tempting to root for the nice guy, but you have to admit that some second leads are just a teensy bit boring. How can you blame her for having no interest if he's kind of a snoozefest? 

Sorry, not sorry, Jaejoong fans. His character was like watching paint dry.

When Kdrama writers break the mold and offer complex, intriguing second leads who break the basic mold, that's when I really can't resist. In Dating Agency: Cyrano, the main lead was doing typical male lead shenanigans, while Master was having long, heartfelt conversations with the female lead. They laughed together, cooked together, talked together, and he was secretly a gangster in disguise. It was a refreshing break from the norm, which automatically prejudiced me against her boring grandpa of the boyfriend.

Similarly, in Heirs, Young Do might have been a violent maniac, but if your only other option is another violent maniac, why not at least root for the one with multiple facial expressions and a motorcycle? (Remind me not to become a life coach for teen girls. Something tells me that I would be bad at it. Teens, don't actually date violent maniacs with motorcycles, okay?)

Whatever the reason, Second Lead Syndrome is always lurking around the corner of every romantic K-drama. As far as I can tell, the only cure is to demand a higher quality of male lead to leave their competition in the dust.

Fashion Face-off Friday: Turtleneck Edition

It's been a while since we featured a solid Fashion Face-off around here.  In our last competition, The Master's Sun representing fall, won in a landslide.  I think people might have been swayed by their love of the series, though, so I'm not sure it was a fair fight.

Given that it's the Christmas season and all, I figured that we could celebrate some cold-weather wear and do a battle of the kdrama turtlenecks.

But why turtlenecks?   Why not fur coats or absurd hats or some other wintery clothing item?  To answer that question, I bring you a story:

Once upon a time, Vivi was four years old, and her mother lovingly sewed a dress for her.  This dress had a ruffled collar on it that stood up like a turtleneck.  When four-year-old Vivi saw this dress, she hated it.  HATED IT.  But, being the sensitive little whippersnapper she was, she didn't want to hurt her mother's feelings and pretended to like it.

I'm pretty sure I wasn't fooling anyone.

Her family members always wanted her to wear that dress because it was "so cute," but Vivi knew better.  Every time she put on that stupid pink dress with its stupid ruffly turtleneck, she was absolutely positive that she looked absurd, so she made up excuses to get out of wearing that dress.  Fortunately for her, she eventually outgrew it and was no longer forced to choose between the shame of wearing the dress and the guilt of hurting her mother's feelings.  The end.

Ever since I owned that dress, I've had this unreasonable hatred of all turtlenecks.  There's something about all that unbroken fabric rubbing up against your chin that I find both unnerving and unflattering, so it drives me absolutely crazy that they're so common in kdramas these days.  So, in honor of four-year-old Vivi and her wounded pride, let's look at some of the worst kdrama turtlenecks, shall we?

Contender 1: Park Hae Young, My Princess

YOU.  You were the offender.

Look, I totally get the impulse to cover up that turtleneck (with a velvet coat???), but the thing about turtlenecks is that there's always more fabric.  This cream number is kind of form-fitting, too, which makes me wonder if they were just trying to show off Abs McGillicuddy over here in a subtle way.  Sorry, Song Seung Heon, but even you can't pull it off.  

Contender 2: Kim Tan, Heirs

This one's pretty self-explanatory, right?  I mean, the sweater is eating his face.  I know, I know, I've made fun of Kim Tan a lot lately, but it's kind of like a scab I keep picking.  I just can't stop!

Contender 3: Kim Shin, Marry Him If You Dare

If there's one thing I hate more than turtlenecks, it's brown turtlenecks.  I don't want to be gross, but the tightness combined with the color really looks like a fresh turd (Turd-leneck--get it?).  

Contender 4: Ma Ae Ri, Miss Korea

Not a full-fledged turtleneck like the others, but it reminds me so much of my childhood nemesis dress that I had to include it.  Also, this:

Every time I see this character on Miss Korea, I won't be able to get Yzma out of my head.

Which turtleneck takes the cake?  If you love turtlenecks and hate me for hating them, which one is your least favorite of the bunch?

Which Kdrama Had the Worst Turtleneck?
	My Princess
	Heirs
	Marry Him If You Dare
	Miss Korea
pollcode.com free polls

Heirs Kdrama Review, or, Why Coco and Vivi Are So Hard on Kim Tan

So, we actually managed to cover most of our Heirs-related feelings in our finale commentary, but we figured we should probably give a more thorough (and serious) analysis of the show as a whole.  After all, it has consumed so much of the kdrama community for the past 2+ months that it deserves some parting words!

Here's the one-paragraph overview: Heirs started out kind of ridiculous.  Then it became a train wreck, but also the most boring train wreck I have ever seen. Then it somehow improved for the last handful of episodes.  Is it worth watching for people who skipped it while it was airing?  I give it a decided meh overall, bordering on "Is it over yet?  What about now?"



Let's start with the positives.  Many of he the secondary characters were interesting, funny, and charming.  It took a while to get invested in some of them (like Hyo Shin) just because we were jumping back and forth between so many people, but the side friendships and romances were often a welcome relief from the main couple.  The two superstar couples of this show were Chan Young/Bo Na and Ki Ae/Hee Nam (the two mothers).  In both cases, I didn't particularly like the characters at first, but they gradually grew on me until I smiled every time they entered the scene.

The second positive is Kim Woo Bin as Choi Young Do.  Wait, you already knew that Coco and I are completely and totally biased in favor of Young Do?  How ever did you figure it out?

I know I'm not the only one who started this show feeling a little guilty that I found Young Do more interesting than Kim Tan in pretty much every scene.  My theory is that Young Do had to be disturbingly cruel and violent at first to at least give people a fair shot at favoring the intended main couple.  Even then, the early episodes were a mental tug-of-war where one side said, "But VIVI, you should never favor bullies!  It's despicable!" while the other side said, "I can't help it!  He's so fascinating!  Plus, Kim Tan is about as interesting as watching cement dry!"  It also helped that we knew from episode 1 that this guy would never actually get the girl, so it's not like we were really advocating abusive bully boyfriends anyway.

Even when I couldn't really like Young Do because he was too scary, he was always interesting to watch, and full credit there goes to Kim Woo Bin for making every facial expression in every scene meaningful.  He has won a few new fans over here for sure.

And now...the bad.

Really, most of the problems in this show boiled down to the central couple. There was very little romantic scaffolding at the beginning of the show to indicate why Kim Tan would be so obsessive about Eun Sang, and there especially wasn't any strong reasoning for Eun Sang to return his affections.  The male lead was already asking "Do I like you?" in episode 2, which pushed the show into the "romantic obstacles abound" phase before it had time to develop the romance in the first place.  That's also probably why the middle of the show felt so draggy--we skipped ahead to freeze frame love triangle standoffs by episode 5.  What options did they have by episode 10 but to repeat this standoff for the twentieth time?  Oh, wait, they could always go for the sad drive-by ignore walk.  I counted five of those in one episode alone! FIVE!  Sure, there was some cute banter in the last few episodes, but it was a little late by then.

Without this romantic scaffolding in place, we just kind of had to trust the writer's word for it that this couple was madly in love.  I remember that I talked a little about internal versus external kdramas in my review of Nice Guy.  If that drama was internal, this one was a step beyond external.  These characters didn't even look like they were in love.  Eun Sang looked horrified every time Kim Tan invaded her personal space (over and over and over again), and yet, the words "I like you" suddenly came out of her mouth.  If the dialogue says it, it must be true!

He just confessed his feelings.  She's literally trembling with fear.

Doesn't that face say "I'm so happy you kissed me"?

Yup, suuuuuper happy right now.  Ah, young love!

"It only looks like you're hurting me against my will!  And this struggling is struggling for joy!"

This kind of forced feeling plays into a bigger theme on Heirs, and that theme is that it's all about Kim Tan.  I finally realized that Kim Tan's obsession was never even about Eun Sang as a person--it was always about Eun Sang as his personal symbol.  He chased her down obsessively, but that relationship was still very self-focused.  Here are some examples:

• Kim Tan's dialogue often focuses on himself rather than Eun Sang: "Do I like you?" "Why don't you ever listen to me?" (Uhhh, because you've been ignoring everything she says?) "I'm going crazy because I want to hug you." (Followed by a hug.  Against her protests.) "But I like you!" "Just do as I say!"  
• He instigates violence against Young Do time after time after time, and he almost always uses Eun Sang as an excuse. (Fun fact: In four out of five fights, Tan gets physical first.  Young Do only hits Tan first when he's trying to sober him up.)                                                                                                                                                                                         But if you look at the most troubling of these scenes (where he kicks down the door while shouting "I'm gonna kill you!"), his first thought isn't to take care of Eun Sang's safety (while "bad guy" Young Do does manage to shield her).  Instead, his first thought is to punch Young Do and hit him with a chair.  It's not so much about protecting Eun Sang as it is about his own rage against Young Do.
• I was happy that Kim Tan finally realized the impact his rampaging tactics had on Eun Sang's life, and I guess his decision to stop chasing after her was some twisted kind of selflessness, but he followed it up by going on that absurd bender of violence and pouty tears.  Was he only sad about Eun Sang, or was his inability to "protect" Eun Sang mostly emblematic of his powerlessness against dear old daddy-o?

I saw Kim Tan progressing in some ways (like self-confidence and less family neediness), but for the most part, he wasn't much better at the end of the show than he was at the beginning.  While Young Do apologized to the kid he bullied, I wasn't convinced that Kim Tan wouldn't just punch someone else in the face if they got in the way of what he wanted.  Is that kid who broke down the door and grabbed the chair gone, or was he pacified because everyone changed around him?  His brother supported him, his dad had a stroke and caved, and even his mommy troubles came to an end.  What bad habits did Kim Tan abandon in all of this?

In the end, though, I'm glad I watched Heirs.  Even the painful music and the ridiculous styling were fun to mock!  Love is the moment, guys.  Never forget.  Or is love my pain?  Or is the moment my pain?

One more terrible styling choice for the road, okay?
The caked on face makeup in this scene kind of makes it look like his face is melting, like a Barbie that got left in the sun too long.

Live Blogging the Heirs Finale

Guys, this is it.  For all of its ups and downs, Heirs was a fun community experience.  Even when it was a complete train wreck in the middle, at least we all got to laugh at the train wreck together!  Because we live blogged the Heirs premiere, we thought we would round out some of our thoughts on the final episode in the same way.  Here we go!

00.10
V: This show has turned me into Pavlov’s dog. I hear the Young Do theme song, and I’m already clutching my heart at the computer screen. CURSE YOU AND YOUR CHARISMA FOREVER, KIM WOO BIN!

I can’t help but wish, though, that they had just consummated this bromance with one last round of “Love Is the Moment.”

6.05
C: Did Young Do’s dad just make a joke? What? It’s a little late for father/son camaraderie don’t you think?

V: Yeah, waaaay too little too late. You can’t just give people strokes or send them to jail in the last episode to make us feel sad!

C: But I did feel sad though. When Tan’s dad reached out to fake little Tan….FEELS

V: Me too. Stroke + small child flashbacks? I can’t resist. But I still felt manipulated the whole time.

C: Agreed. Those writers are pulling every trick in the tear generator book.

8.10
C: Aww, Young Do is trying to make his peace with the world! Now he’s bad-boy-turned-sad-boy-turned-rad-boy, but still kind of just sad-boy, FOREVER.

9.11
V: LSKJDFFSKHLJFSJLSDFJKLFSDJKL I’m never ever going to recover from Young Do-itis.


C: Me either. They better do him right by the end of this! I FORGIVE YOU YOUNG DO! (and please marry me).

9.50
V: It wouldn’t be Heirs without some unintelligible English, would it?

C: Funny how it’s all coming full circle, even the engrish.

V: Does this mean we might get a closing cameo from Tan’s surfer drug addict thief friend?

C: PLEASE dear drama gods, YES!

11.40
C:  NO YOUNG DO! Don’t do it! They better not make him commit suicide. THIS IS NONSENSE!!!

Also, poor little rich kids. Boooo hoooo. Go cry me a river that I know you’re just going to make your servant clean up.

V: Yeah, yeah, we get it. Everyone is sad except for Eun Sang.

C: What? She’s sad for like 19 of the 20 episodes. I thought she only knew how to make one face.

V: Is that why she’s text message rubbing it in that she’s the only non-sad one now? Oh, wait, she’s STILL making her cry face.

18.40
C: It’s making me nervous that Young Do is traipsing all around trying to make amends. He better not die! And if he’s not going to die, then is this just the writer’s evil plot to make us fall even more in love with him so it sucks that much more when he NEVER wins?

V: I can’t even talk about him anymore because it hurts my heart too much. I’m just going to listen to his theme song on repeat instead.

C: That will do you no good. Nothing good ever comes from listening to K-drama theme songs on repeat. Trust me, I did it with Master’s Sun and it wrecked me, like a wrecking ball, that’s how it came in.

V: Well, the writer will just have to take responsibility for any Miley Cyrus happenings around here, then. She’s the one who wrote a male lead with the personality of a potato and matched him against this guy!

C: Yes that was so shortsighted, or genius. Not sure which, but I’m in love so I don’t even care! Young Do *V*! (*V*= the emoticon for FIGHTING!)

21:43

V: The chairwoman is wearing a Snuggie to an important meeting. Hey, at least she dressed it up with her best neck bow, right?

C: I wonder if I can pick one up at Walgreen’s. My mother would love to have one to watch her K-dramas in.

V: I don’t know, Coco. This one appears to be her most formal snuggy. It might be too fancy for casual Kdrama viewing.

C: Are you saying my mom is not classy? You know what happens when people diss each other’s mothers. We’ve just witnessed 20 episodes of it!

V: Don’t hit me with the chair, Coco! I take it all back!

C: Ok, 4 year feud averted.

V: I’m just glad I won’t be forced to rock angry Elvis hair for the foreseeable future.

C: Yes, and I am glad that I won’t have to wear 20 different ugly sweaters. Wait, why do you get to be Young Do?

V: Because Kim Tan is always the one getting his feelings hurt over “your momma” jokes.

C: Ah, ok. Fair enough.

26.00
C:  Not the DOUBLE single tear! One single tear rolling down two people’s cheeks at the same time?!? This is getting real!

V: Seriously, people, you’re killing me here! I’m thinking of starting a coffee table book entitled The Many Sad Faces of Young Do. Any takers? And it’s a TRIPLE single tear if you count the one slowly rolling down my cheek.

C: Oh no, then that makes it a QUADRUPLE single tear for my little tear running down my little cheek too!

V: It’s really hard to gaze pensively into the distance and watch the show at the same time.

C: That’s true, but this is Young Do we’re talking about, so if anyone deserves quadruple single tears, it’s him.

29:55
V: FINALLY, a Rachel and Hyo Shin scene! I have been waiting for ANYTHING that doesn’t have to do with stupid boring people and their stupid boring companies.

C: Yes! As much as I hate Rachel, I do want to see her happy. It’s only kind of her fault she’s such a heartless rich girl. Tan did her wrong, there’s no denying that!

I'd say she got the better consolation prize.

42.36
V: I feel like I should be more sad about Won’s breakup. Too bad I can’t even remember this girl’s name. I’ve just been calling her Whazzerface Orphan Lady.

C: Yeah, their relationship never felt particularly real and gripping to me. But I am sad for Won. Did he learn nothing about reckless love from Tan?

V: Well, lest we forget, everything is always all about Tan. If Won had done the same thing, they would have lost that vote (52% to 44% is close!). We can’t have poor little Tanny losing all his stuff, can we?

C: True. Someone has to take one for the team, and apparently Won chose to bear the weight of the power and greed crown!

V: One advantage of this show ending is that we never have to hear anything more about crowns or weight ever, ever again.

45.42
V: Has Young Do been carrying that bandaid around in every pair of pants since he got it? Or has he just never changed his pants? Gross.

C: I knew all the men in this show were strangely stalkerish and obsessive, but that does take the cake.

50.30 
C: WTF? Nothing changed? Another shot of Tan and Young Do long walking past each other without looking up? WAE? What was the point of Young Do’s character if he ends up with NOTHING? No girl, no best friend, no company! *throwing table over*

V: Maybe he can go for the new chicken delivery girl?

C: I thought that was what was about to happen and got really angry for a second. Like, that is not an ok cop out last minute.

V: You’re a party pooper. At least Young Do wouldn’t be forever alone, but let’s face it, we all knew this was coming from the first time he showed up. That’s why they started him out SO evil.

C: But every other male lead starts out evil and gets the girl. Just look at Jun Pyo!

V: Or, dare I say it, Kim Tan? Oh wait, he starts out kind of nice and goes downhill from there.

C: How dare you?! You’re right. He’s kind of a controlling and violent maniac.

V: Remember how in Episode 19 he said that he loves to be obsessive? Because I do.

54:27
C:  KISS, KISS, KISS! And I mean a real one now! I just really need for a normal, lovely, kiss where no one looks like they’re in pain or being forced to happen.

54.39
V: I LITERALLY LOLd at that ridiculous (and slightly creepy) lip bump.

C: That was NOT a real kiss! That was a freeze frame so that Park Shin Hye doesn’t have to ever learn how to kiss on screen.

V: At least PSH was smiling! Also, are they getting married? Also also why are they living in Tan’s childhood bedroom ten years down the line?

56. 35
V: I can just imagine the writer saying, “You know what we all need here? A recap of EVERY TIME Kim Tan and Eun Sang cried at each other!” You know, in case we forgot.

C: No, I’m pretty sure that was the abridged version. A whole recap would take 10 of the 20 hours.

V: But, you know, eighteen, and pain and stuff. So that makes it okay.

C: Oh to be young! Young Do! Our favorite part of this whole experience.

V: And Bo Na/Chan Young! (Why couldn't we cut half of the boring company stuff for more of them in the finale?)

C: YES!

Better Subtitles for Heirs

Guys, I have a confession to make.  Please don't e-punch me to the face or revoke our eternal kdrama-watching friendship, okay?  But I am having a reeeeeeeeally hard time getting through Heirs these days.

I love a good love triangle as much as the next gal, but seriously, this scared-face standoff has happened about forty times.  WE GET IT. 

So, you know how the full title for Heirs is actually Heirs: He Who Wears the Crown Must Endure Its Weight (or one of about forty variations on the same theme)?  Well, to stave off some of the boredom, Coco and I started to brainstorm some more apt subtitles for the show.  Here's what we have so far:

• Heirs: Rich People Are the WORST
• Heirs: He Who Wears the Crown Probably Has Daddy Issues
• Heirs: First World Problems 
• Heirs: He Who Wishes to Get the Girl Must Lurk the Most
• Heirs: Love Is the Moment. And the Moment Is Usually Uncomfortable
• Heirs: No Event Is Too Small for Dramatic Music
• Heirs: There's No Such Thing As an Ugly Sweater
• Heirs: "I Don't Love You" Means "Hug Me Extra Hard"
• Heirs: Poor People with Awesome Phones

And finally, my personal favorite:

• H.E.I.R.S.: Hoping Everything Isn't Repeatedly Sucky

On an unrelated note, this is why I roll my eyes quite a bit less when I watch Marry Him If You Dare:

What alternate titles would you give Heirs?  Am I a crazy person, or is anyone else having a hard time sticking with this drama?  If I AM a crazy person, can we still be kdrama friends?

Random Things about Heirs

Coco and I got caught up on Heirs today. A few non-plot-related notes:

1. Is it a bad sign that with all of the major romantic developments, this is the scene that I enjoyed the most?

2. Maybe I couldn't get more into the other romantic moments because I was insanely distracted by Kim Tan's half of a bolo tie:

I don't understand it, but I also can't stop looking at it.

3. That "Love Is the Moment" song needs to be played at someone's wedding. And then never, ever played again.

That's all. Sometimes, these things just need to be said.

Live Blogging the Heirs Premiere

It feels like we've been hearing nothing but Heirs updates from the kdrama world for months now.  Lee Min Ho and Park Shin Hye in one show together! *head explodes* Even though the premise of teenagers in love has us a little skeptical, we couldn't let such a massive occasion pass by unnoticed, so we decided to live blog it, Oscars style.

You know how style journalists write commentary on awards shows as they're airing? Things like "Ooooh that dress looks like she wrapped herself in seaweed and crawled out of the ocean!" (I don't know anything about fashion actually. Is that what style journalists say?)  That's what we did here.  We watched the Heirs premiere and just wrote whatever came to mind.  It isn't the most in-depth commentary (for that, check out my drama club review on DramaFever over the weekend), but it was fun for us!

And here we go in three...two...one...

00.00-- Vivi: My palms are actually sweating. Settle down, Vivi. You’re not the one starring in this show. You’re safely on your couch in your pajamas. It’s gonna be fine.

00.10--Coco: OMG here comes some ‘90s Saved By The Bell “Best Summer of My Life” music and surfing scenes! How did they know how to reach deep into my nostalgic teenaged heart?

1.29-- C: Hey, I’m fairly impressed with Lee Min Ho’s engrish! Does this mean we are one step closer to being wed?

V:  I politely decline to comment.  He’s trying so hard!

1.42—V: It’s not a good sign when I have to read the subtitles to figure out what the Americans are saying.  So far, I feel like they’re just mumbling to cover up the fact that they probably don’t speak English at all. “Hey!*mumbling incoherently* Bye!”

C: Also I think they’ve managed to depict every stereotype of southern California ever. Can that girl get any tanner or blonder? Not to mention the surfer best friend.  

V: I feel like the model for this best buddy slacker surfer friend came from some made-for-TV teen movie circa 1992.

C: Totally dude!

1.51— V:Is this some kind of record? We’re under two minutes into the thing, and we already have a shower scene. Kim Eun Sook clearly knows what her audience wants. Why waste time?

C: Doesn’t count. Not standing in front of a mirror with steam rising. It does appear he is brooding about something, however.

3.13—V: Biggest plot mystery so far: Is Lee Min Ho sporting some lip gloss as he gazes into the distance?

C: I don’t know, but he sure looks pretty! And so, so contemplative. And probably misunderstood. And he probably doesn’t know how to love because he has never been loved.

4.15—V:Wait, what kind of second male lead hits defenseless nerds with a baseball? Ouch!

C: This is all very unexpected. My psychological frame for making sense of Kdrama things is being thrown out of whack.

7.03—V: I’m getting flashbacks of Eun Chan with Eun Sang delivering food and demanding her payment like a boss.  On another note, did she just say that she’s a second year in high school?  What does that make her—15? 16?  For my own sanity, I’m just going to pretend that she’s a sophomore in college, okay?

C: Second male lead looks intrigued by her sassiness! What the? Are you sure he’s not the male lead?

8.50--C: Now that’s what I call a second male lead. I think the writers got a little carried away with casting so much eye candy, they don’t even know what to do with them all!

V: Were people just volunteering to be in this series?  All we need is a womanizer with a heart of gold, and we’ve pretty much covered every male lead in the history of everything.  And no, Surfer Dude doesn’t count.

9.50-- C: Oh Krystal, honey, just stick to singing. Sorry, but acting is not for you.

12.47—V:Is that dream catcher going to be our terribly symbolic item for the rest of the series?  One can only hope that Park Shin Hye gazes at it wistfully at least 25 more times throughout the course of the show. (Fingers crossed!)

C: Buy me one now, Vivi! As an ancient symbol of our unending blogging friendship.

V: What if I painstakingly fashion one for you with my own two hands?  Does that make it more symbolic?

C: Only if it included strands of your hair as the webbing. Actually, that kind of just grossed me out. Please don’t use strands of your hair.

17.05—V:Not only is Eun Sang’s mom a downtrodden housekeeper, but she also can’t talk.  In the Olympics of misfortune, this woman wins the gold so far.

C: And where is her husband? We already knew the female lead has to be an orphan, so I guess it’s no shocker that he isn’t in the picture.

V: “Isn’t in the picture”?  He’s DEAD, Coco.  Because that’s what you get when you’re poor.

C: You’re right. Poor= everything is taken from you. EVERYTHING.

21.30 C: This all feels very Gossip Girl to me. Choi Yong Do=Chuck Bass, anyone?

V: YES.  So much yes to that statement. And Rachel=one of the female ones!  With the brown hair!

23.49—V: Rachel may be a terrible person (I assume), but I want her dress to be in my closet.  RIGHT NOW.

25.17—V: Serious concern: What will happen to Young Do’s super-gelled hair when he takes that helmet off?  I want to know.

C: All I know is that is definitely will not look as good as Ji Hoo’s helmet hair did!

26.0 C: Sorry but she is not as chipper about all her side jobs as Eun Chan was. In fact I’d say she’s kind of a whiner. You never saw Eun Chan crying cause someone knocked down her bottles of milk!

27.16—V: Okay, not as bad as I thought.  At least she’s 18!  But still, these people are too young to be engaged and stuff. (Shakes fist while rubbing geriatric knees) Kids these days!

30.02—V: It’s supposed to be a touching moment, but when I see “DRY CLEANING ONLY” written again and again all in caps like that, all I can think is, “REDRUM.”  Does this make me a bad person?

C: Yes! It does seem much more ominous than touching. This would be perfect to put in a trailer where you took some clips and changed the music to make Heirs seem like a Horror movie.

31.05—V: Aaaaaaaaaand there it is.  I was wondering how long it would take before we got a Park Shin Hye doe-eyed cryfest.

C: I’m afraid there’s going to be more of this than I’d like, but there’s always more of this than I’d like in all of her dramas. That, or the slightly confused and shocked face.

36.04—V: I’m sorry to break it to you, Eun Sang, but knowing the word for “subway” won’t help you much in LA.

C: And what exactly was the “Would you like people or…” phrase she was about to say? “Would you like people or trained monkeys to be your taxi driver?”

46.06—V: This may be an obvious point to make for a show called Heirs, but holy smokes are there a lot of grumpy rich people on this show. How will I decide who to hate first?

47.08—V: Apparently, Americans are the WORST.  Is this man propositioning her, or is that some terribly translated pickup line?

C: I think the producers are trying to make America seem as scandalous as possible to make sure that Koreans aren’t tempted to come here for the tan blondes and surfer dudes. They are like syrens!

51.50—V: Don’t listen when they compare you to angels.  They just want you for drugs.

52.48—V: I’m glad that in all of his time in America, Tan learned the truly important English phrases, like “dipsh-t.”

53.52— C: I just knew we’d eventually see the snotty Jun Pyo we all know and love. I’ve missed you so much!

V: Ah, their first fight!  Nobody pulls off sassy blinking like Park Shin Hye.  Nobody, I tell you.

59.46—V: A gang! That’s what you get for coming to the U.S.!  Everyone steals your bean powder and gives you money for sex and makes fun of you for being Asian!

C: And don’t forget the constant sound of police sirens! I didn’t expect Heirs to be such a morality tale, but lesson learned. Thank goodness they didn’t end up in NYC. You don’t even want to know what happens on the streets at night in this part of America!

1:00.30 C: Oh look! Here comes Edward Cullen! He even has a reddish hint to his hair like in Twilight. I wonder if he can read her thoughts too? That would be an unexpected twist the likes of the Secret Garden body switch!

1:01.02—V: When Lee Min Ho asks you to come home with him, I believe the correct answer here is a hearty “YES.”

How did you guys feel about the premiere?  Was it everything you hoped for and more?  Hard to say from just one episode, but at least it was entertaining! Comment below!